It's already 1.38am on Saturday morning and I still can't fall asleep even though my body is aching from all the exercise and work today.
Two things are keeping me awake: The GCE A Level Results and Sustaining Contact Over Long Distance.
Yesterday was the GCE A Level results release date and most of my General Paper students did fairly well in the subject - 1 of them got C5, 4 of them got B3 and 2 of them got A1. Even though this is supposed to be good news for many of them who thought they would fail the subject, some of them did not do as well for the other A level subjects and are in danger of not making it to the university course of their choices.
The pity is that for those who did not do as well, they were the really hardworking ones - sincerely interested in doing well, staying up late to revise their work, gritting their teeth to prepare for the examinations. Yet....Sigh...Life can be so unfair to these people....
Sometimes, being hardworking doesn't really mean one will automatically get the results one hopes. It's really tough for them and this issue brings me to the second matter....
For months now, I have been really trying hard to sustain contact with a VIP friend of mine who is studying overseas but these few weeks, things have been really disastrous for this friend and I am beginning to feel that she is trying to clam up and shut me out from the updates she used to enthusiastically tell me about over the MSN. Maybe I am thinking too much and being overly-sensitive, maybe it's all the recent trouble she is getting into that is wearing her out, but I am really feeling the strain here as the clamming continues. The hurt feels real enough for me though.
What does it take to sustain contact over long distance? I hate to lose this VIP friend due to a lousy, inanimate factor of distance and I have been trying so hard to strike up conversations with her, encouraging her and motivating her, but just now, she bade me a less-than-sincere farewell and hastily left the chat session, leaving me bewildered and lots of unfinished talk intended.
Maybe all my hard work will end up in vain. I don't know. I really don't know. It's not that I don't trust this VIP friend, but the clamming up and shielding me from whatever that is really happening to her right now definitely hurts me. My self-confidence in sustaining this contact is fading. What can I do? For one of those rare moments in my life, I am feeling pretty much useless and helpless...
No nice picture for this blog post because my morale is really low and I still have lessons tomorrow. It's 1.55am now and I must try to get some shut-eye. It won't be easy but my mortal life goes on, even though my mind will probably still linger about the incident....
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